THE iKiFit BLOG
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, or, if you prefer, have a great holiday season.
I know there are a variety of views on the thing that Christmas has become ;- on the one hand a time of fellowship, good cheer, love and family - J - on the other, a crass commercial orgy of consumption and excess!!!
It can be either or both of those...but one thing I love about this time of year is that it marks the end of the work year and is an opportunity for relaxation, reflection and a time to plan and prepare for new beginnings.
It’s a time where we get to celebrate that most fantastic of all human abilities -
Next year will certainly see some beginnings. No doubt 2015 will have its’ challenges and some bad things will happen ; - that’s life - but good opportunities will arise and great things will happen as well.
And let’s never forget that true satisfaction and happiness comes from within.
Things happen that are beyond our control - but our attitude and actions determine what comes next.
By the time you read this I’ll have an artificial hip! Before you say I’m young for that, please let me say I’ve had painful hip issues for all of my adult life and it’s time!
There have been times I’ve complained and felt sorry for myself and others when I’ve reminded myself that on balance my life circumstances have been lucky (first world problems only..and not many of those)
Now I’m reminding myself how very fortunate we are to live in this age and place. Even 50 years ago, many health conditions were untreatable - now there are 6 Million Dollar people on every street. J
There will be challenges next year, but most of us are in positions where we can meet them if we really try.
Happy hopeful holiday.
The BIG iKi - Wednesday 5th November @ 12 noonWe all know our children are our future. We need your help to help us improve student outcomes in schools. Please.
It’s a simple as 123 ABC :-
1. The Big iKi is to highlight the powerful impact effective student engagement, clear, consistent guidelines and strong leadership can have on students futures.
2. The Big iKi shows how technology and community partnerships are helping change our schools for the better.
3. The Big iKi is to help kick off the Safe Respectful Learners (SRL) Workshops Tour in 2015
How you can help for FREE :-
A. Grab something to use as an iKiStick You can make your own or you can purchase one before the day online at our iKiStore
B. Organise yourself or your whole office or school to join you
C. Click onto the website on the day.5th November at 11. 50 for a 12noon start on a smartboard, PC And do the 12 minute energiser.
Finally, send us an email to let us know you are taking part in the day so we can send you out all promo material associated with the event and catch up with you to see how the event went.
Note to self.. It's up to me!
I’m guessing there aren’t many of us, when we’re being honest with ourselves, who won’t admit to having spread the blame when something hasn’t turned out as we hoped.
Anybody who has teenagers in their lives encounters the buck passing phenomena on a daily basis. This can get painful when family members make poor choices but will take no responsibility for the consequences.
I recently came across a quote in a magazine article (about something completely unrelated) that read, “When we go to judgement our maker doesn’t ask anything about family. We are judged on ourselves alone”
Meaning, of course, we won’t get a chance to blame our siblings or parents!
It struck a chord, so I was excited to read the following article at Flying Solo http://www.flyingsolo.com.au/ about an hour later. The headline was ;-
“ Every time you start to complain about something, stop. Think about how you can take control of the situation and be accountable for it. ”
Their suggestion was that whenever something isn’t going to plan, use these two words ;-
The premise for the No Excuses Mindset is simple. Every time you start to complain, stop. Think about how you can take control of the situation and be accountable for it. The author goes on to give 3 reasons why having the No Excuses Mindset can make you more successful and resilient.
1. You will get what you want – faster
Have you ever said these words or heard someone else say them? "They haven't returned my email".
Or “I asked them for help and I’ve heard nothing back”
In this situation, ask yourself these questions:
• Do people sign a contract that says they will return my emails and calls? No, so therefore it’s my responsibility to email or call, not wait.
• Is our priority the same as the person we are asking for help or information? Often it isn’t, - in which case it’s up to us to do the follow up – or find another way to get the task done.
• If we need something done that involves somebody else, we’ll get it faster and easier if we take responsibility and “chase it up”.
2. It makes your success repeatable
When you start to make excuses about what other people do to you – or don’t, there is one big problem. What happens to you, good or bad, is not repeatable.
Conversely, if you adopt full accountability, you can analyse root causes for any situation that is within your control to ensure that your success is repeatable, and your mistakes aren’t.
"He didn't call me back, but finally did after two weeks. Why are people so slow?!"
"When I follow up my emails with a call within two days, I always get a response within a week."
3. Fear will subside
The best part about being fully accountable is that you remove the fear of not knowing. Not knowing how your customer or friend will react, not knowing if they'll call you back, not knowing if xyz will happen.
For the first time, none of these questions will matter because you will be in complete control.
You will have formulated repeatable strategies to create the outcome of your choosing.
In other words. No. Excuses. It’s up to us!
And how much nicer to be able to share credit rather than blame.
Taking responsibility for our own health is easy. A 12 minutes iKi Energiser done 2 or three times a week will soon add up to a new, energised you! Join now
All the Best,
Growing up in a small country town it was normal to know and talk to everyone, but as I started to travel to other towns and then cities I realised that we are trained to NOT engage with strangers - not just from fear, but from a basic misconception ;- Others look, speak and dress differently, therefore they ARE different - and may well be dangerous. We’re taught to be afraid. And the media does nothing to change this – quite the reverse in fact. All news outlets know that bad news sells better than good and as a result 87% of information we encounter on an average day is negative. Yes, it’s been researched!
The bad news is brought to us from all over the world - but we internalise it and as a result, view our surrounds with a fear vastly disproportionate to our local reality. We hear a news story about someone approached by a “man in a white van” and fear there are predators in every street. The reality is there is on average one, that’s 1, successful child abduction in Australia every year. That means the odds of YOUR child being taken is 1 in 6,000,000. Yes, one in six million. But our perception is that it’s almost certain if we let our child walk around the block.We’re bombarded nightly with crime shows and find ourselves believing that every suburb harbours at least one garden variety murderer, and every second one a deranged serial killer.
Ask people if they think we’re safer now than our forebears were 50, 100, 200, 500 years ago and they reply ‘No, today’s world is more dangerous’. The reverse is true. We live twice as long on average than we did 100 years ago, not just because of better medicine and OH&S. Murder rates in all of the western world have steadily, consistently and constantly dropped for the past 700 years - from around 80 per 100,000 per year to less than 3. That’s 3,000% less chance of being murdered in our beds – or anywhere else.
We all “know” that city people won’t engage with strangers. But - using my dad as inspiration - I always make a point of striking up conversations – on public transport, in the street, at cafe’s, anywhere - with strangers. Occasionally I’ll encounter initial suspicion, but almost always am answered with enthusiasm, kindness and interest. Some people are overwhelmed that someone makes the effort to be friendly.
I remember an incident when I was 15, sitting in a public lounge watching people walk in the door. It dawned on me that they were just like me..a bit shy, unconfident and not wanting to stand out. Just like me they were all scared - of stranger danger, rejection, criticism. And just like me they wanted to be liked, to be treated as if they were interesting - and they wanted to meet and engage with interesting people.
One time, a friend and I were trying to get to China town in Sydney, late at night in a taxi. The driver had no clue so we got out in a dark street in a seedy suburb in disgust. We had no idea where we were but saw a group of men about our age hanging around some cars outside a run-down pub. They looked scary to us. Big, tattooed, shaved heads---which in those days was something only “thugs and sailors” did. They watched us as cautiously as we felt about them, but we walked up with apologetic smiles, telling them we were from the country and lost. 10 minutes later they dropped us outside a restaurant in China town they recommended, with thanks, smiles and handshakes all ‘round.
Of course, there ARE people ‘out there’ who will take advantage if we let them, but the overwhelming majority of strangers are just like us. Caring, friendly, interesting people who want to be respected and trusted. Just like us. People who want to live meaningful, loving lives - who may be someone who’ll have a positive impact on our lives. Somebody special we just don’t know yet.
I was intrigued by the headline above - (SMH May 31) and was hooked after reading the first paragraph.
Writer Jenee Osterheldt had this to say.
“I made my bed this morning. And that’s rare. Unfortunately. As I straightened out the blankets, tucked the sheets just so and fluffed my pillows, I shook off last nights’ sleep and my constant resistance to being a morning person. This tiny task had a big benefit: It woke me up to the day, to the possibilities ahead”
Jenee went on to say she was inspired by a speech given to a graduating class at the University of Texas by US Navy Seal Admiral William H McRaven, who said, “If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and will encourage you to do another and another. By the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.”
He continues “If you can’t do the little things right you’ll never do the big things right. And If by chance, you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made - that you made - and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better”
It resonated strongly with me because, like the writer Jenee, I had gotten out of the habit. Now I’m practising it again and it’s energising. Just like doing some exercise, it gives me a physical and mental boost. No matter what else happens in the day, I’ve achieved something positive. And one good thing leads to another.
What was it our parents said? – “Tidy your room” The great thing is – make your bed and you’re already half way there.
If you want to change the world, start where you spend almost one third of your life – your bed. Make it happen.
Have you heard about The Big iKi? We’re setting a world record for the most people doing the iKi Dance at the one time, in multiple locations. Find out more
We've all heard the phrase 'Blessing in disguise' and are familiar with stories of people overcoming amazing odds to achieve great things. And we all have our own stories of challenges overcome - to achieve our goals or help us identify and stay on our life path.
Those blessings in disguise are the things that afflict us, the 'misfortunes' or accidents that happen, that with the benefit of hindsight or thoughtful perspective, we come to recognise as positives - as they have helped develop our talents, recognise our strengths, or put us in the right place at the right time.
I was a normal enough farm boy growing up but when, in my late teens, I 'discovered' TaeKwon Do (TKD) and found my path in life as an instructor and teacher - I also learned to my horror that I had degenerative arthritis in both hips. This wasn't great news for practising TKD which requires super flexibility, particularly in the hip joints.
There were times I became discouraged, depressed and angry (why me??) by the pain and stiffness. I had to do a lot of extra work, stretching and conditioning, to do things others found easy.
After some years, however, I recognised this as my own blessing in disguise. My "problem" had forced me to discipline myself-something I hadn't done before - and the extra work I had to do made up for a lack of athletic talent, as well as helped overcome a natural inclination to be lazy.
Another affliction that I've been blessed with is a spectacular intolerance of certain foods. Eating them has unpleasant results better not gone into here. There were times I felt I was missing out, but viewed from another angle it's a real blessing, as having stopped eating those foods has resulted in my eating much better overall. Outcome, better health.
I remember years ago when my wife was forced out of a job which seemed at the time to be the end of the world. Now she is SO grateful it happened as it provided the impetus - and opportunity - to find her true path.
So when things aren't what we may wish, we have 3 options ;-
Identify it and be grateful for that blessing in disguise -sometimes hard when we're in the thick of it.
If it's all too much take some time out to get perspective.
Then, we can take a breath and Suck it up.
I recently did another workshop with Rebel Black -The Hungry Spirit
It wasn't all comfortable. After all, working on moving onward and upward involves risk, possible pain and definitely hard work. Things we all appreciate from a distance but don't always want to experience first hand.Part of the workshop preparation was required regular readings of some of Nelson Mandelas' Inaugural Speech, as follows;-
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others". Nelson Mandela 1994 Inaugural speech.
I know personally that the biggest thing holding most of us back is that nagging voice that tells us we shouldn't get "too big for our boots." That voice that makes us afraid of standing out - afraid of what others think.
That voice that can sap our energy - or gives us an excuse - to not do the work necessary to create and support our dreams. The often hard, challenging work we need to do, to get to where we want to go.
Martha Graham said "it's none of our business what others think about us." Kind of empowering.
A bloke I've know for a few years amazed me a few weeks ago with some rap songs he's written, but he wanted to get someone else to sing them because he didn't think his voice is good enough. It definitely is, he just needs to get used to the sound of it - and remember that he's his own worst critic, like the rest of us. The great thing is that after a bit of encouragement he's practising, improving and that energy is spreading. THAT's what living the dream actually is. Self doubt, yes. Struggle, totally. Effort, yes. But the doing it, is success in itself, no matter the outcome. Go Nathan.
How to insure your optimism.
Those of you who have missed my musings over the past few weeks, please accept my apologies. For the foreseeable future I’ll be writing fortnightly, which will be more manageable for us all : )
This fortnights’ blog is inspired –in fact largely written by - Sam Leader, who co edits the great website Flying Solo. She says; - “Most of us will chose hope and positivity over its’ opposite any day of the week. But at times optimism can bear it’s teeth and bite us on the butt".
Optimism is generally agreed to be a Good Thing and is even associated with greatness. The oft-quoted poster sourced from a 1997 Apple advertisement states “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do”.But being optimistic can cloud our judgement and lead us to underestimate what’s needed to reach a goal. As a result, we can be underprepared and overexposed.
Part of the popularity of the UK house renovation project show ‘Grand Designs’ is to watch such falls from grace. “ Well Kevin” says the typical couple “We’ve budgeted £100,000 and want to move in by Christmas.” Then as sure as eggs are eggs, you see a shot of the incomplete project and a despondent-looking pair owning up to more than doubling their project time and budget’. That’s life. It’s mostly much harder to achieve a goal than our fond dreams and Hollywood lead us to believe. We jump through one hoop just to be confronted by another obstacle. On the other hand, satisfaction and lasting value only ever come from hard work and challenges confronted and overcome.
But before we undertake any goal, and at regular intervals on the journey, we should take some time to properly examine where we are and what is needed to successfully continue. That way we can better decide to put our heads down and tough it out, or to shift our focus to somewhere else. The trick is to know when.
Over 90% of people never achieve financial independence. It’s no coincidence that same % don’t ever write their thoughts, plans or goals. It can be literally the work of minutes. The process of WRITING our goals –or our deep life questions - helps clarify what we want to do in the first place, the difficulties we will encounter and the steps we need to take to overcome those difficulties and ultimately achieve the outcome we want. Sometimes, you’ll want to go for it sometimes not.
At the end of this SMART Goal sheet you’ll be asked if it is worth the time, effort and money. If you still think you can do it, you probably can. It may be a lot harder than you think. It may not change the world, - but it sure can change you. And think of the satisfaction you’ll feel and skills you’ll learn from overcoming those hurdles, hoops and challenges.
CompromiseWho remembers when Tony Abbot let it be known that he wanted to be Prime Minister so very, very much that he would consider "selling his ass"?
Few would argue that we all, sometimes, have to make concessions, or compromises, to achieve things in life - after all we can rarely get it all our own way.
My apologies for that very poor pun.
My dad has always been great at negotiating deals, solving conflicts and "finding the middle way". His philosophy is that every deal should have "a drink for everyone," meaning of course that the best negotiations end with all parties feeling that, while they may not have achieved everything they wanted, their needs and beliefs are validated and respected.
The art of compromise, when done with honest intention and genuine good will, can solve most problems.
"Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy" ― Phyllis McGinley
"In what we call "real life"--if we want to be successful, if we want to get on in the long-term--we always have to come to some kind of compromise with our own emotions: I can't overreact NOW! I have to accept THIS! I have to ignore THAT!
We're forever having to tailor our emotions to the circumstances; - We go easy on the people we love, we slip into our hundred little daily roles, we juggle, we balance, we weigh things up so as not to jeopardize the entire structure, because we, ourselves have a stake in it."
― Daniel Glattauer, Love Virtually
On the other hand, there are times when compromise leads only to confusion and conflict "Do not ... mistake necessary evils for good." ― C.S. Lewis
And "Compromise means to go just a little bit below what you know is right. It's just a little bit, but it's the little foxes that spoil the vine."― Joyce Meyer
And even more adamantly;-
"The man who refuses to judge, who neither agrees nor disagrees, who declares that there are no absolutes and believes that he escapes responsibility, is the man responsible for all the blood that is now spilled in the world. Reality is an absolute, existence is an absolute, a speck of dust is an absolute and so is a human life. Whether you live or die is an absolute. Whether you have a piece of bread or not, is an absolute. Whether you eat your bread or see it vanish into a looter's stomach, is an absolute".
― Ayn Rand , Atlas Shrugged
The trick is knowing when to give way, when to stick to our guns and, the world being what it is, when to "sell our ass"
I think becoming PM is definitely NOT one of the last.
At iKiFit we believe there are times when the interests of the majority are best served by making allowances, by compromising. But there are times that we all benefit much more by applying the rules consistently and fairly.
To read more about how iKiFit enhances school students be Safe, Respectful Learners read more
There's a little known saying. "If you have more than 1 priority you have no priority"
On first reading I think that's a bit scary. But it's true. On one level.The idea can be challenging because, well, there's just so much to do!
In the modern world, we want it all - or at least like to have a lot of things 'on the go' at once. Being busy can help us feel productive, pumped and valued. On the other hand, the outcomes can be scattered - and there's always that nagging feeling that something needs attention.If asked, most of us will say that we multi task effectively - but research does show that it can be much less efficient than we think.
For example - Jamie Packer was quoted a couple of weeks ago as saying that he's doing really well in business but the rest of his life is a disaster.
He's got lots of money but he's miserable because his family life and health are a shambles.
I find this a useful way to establish priorities; - Start with the understanding that some fundamentals are unnegotiable. i.e put them beyond priority because they 'go without saying'.
These fundamentals are family, health and social/spiritual/community values.
For example, looking after your health should be a given. Budgeting a certain amount of time to health and self improvement each week isn't a priority, it's an essential.
Similarly, if we don't maintain healthy family and community values anything else will feel shallow and unsatisfying.
It's not simple, but at least it's clear. Look after our physical, mental and spiritual health and THEN establish priorities.
Still confused on what your priorities should be? Here's what the gurus say.
- Action expresses priorities." ― Mahatma Gandhi
- Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- You need to make time for your family no matter what happens in your life" ― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook
- "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important." ― Stephen R. Covey
- "It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials." ― Bruce Lee
- To keep your "fundamentals" right, try the simple and effective "HomeworkGrid"
All the Best,
They say in real estate there are 3 key ingredients to success; Position, position, position.
The Battle of Britain ranks as one of the great stories of beating the odds. The British air force were outnumbered by more than 3 to 1, yet they beat off their attackers.
It was a personification of the attitude expressed by Winston Churchill, Prime Minister at the time - “We will never, never, never, never give up”
I remember years ago the world was shocked when it was revealed from private diaries that Mother Teresa suffered lifelong attacks of doubt. We shouldn’t have been surprised of course, as she was human like the rest of us. We all suffer doubt and fears sometimes.
Fairly recently I was at a point where I needed a boost and happened on this poem in Paul Hanna’s book “You can do it”
I liked it so much I printed it out and read it regularly. I hope you like it too.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must but don’t you quit
Life is strange with its’ twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a person turns about
When they might have won had they stuck it out
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another go
Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering person
Often the struggler has given up
When they might have captured the victors cup
And they learned too late when the night came down
How close they were to the golden crown
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit-
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
All the Best,